Beautiful Mondays: Stepping into the light

A while back I had mentioned that I had started an internship with a stylist. I had helped out with a couple of things already. This last past week, however, I got a phone call that the internship would no longer be possible, due to changes taking place in her family. I was upset, hurt, disappointed and even a little mad when I heard this. I felt like the hope that had been given to me, suddenly had shattered. My first reaction was to quit completely, not even experiment with styling for myself. But then I realized that quitting wouldn’t help anyone and it would definitely not be a positive reaction for myself.

The lady I was interning with, called back to make sure I was doing alright. She told me I do have all the talents and creativity hidden inside of me and that I should definitely continue with what I am doing. She just didn’t expect her circumstances to change as quick as they did.

I am used to things not working out. Well, I say I am used to it, but each time it happens, I get just as disappointed as the time before. When you hope something will work out well for you and it doesn’t go the way you planned or hope, no matter what it is, feelings of disappointment and hurt will always surface. This weekend, though, I realized that what we do when disappointment and hurt want to take control, is crucial. We can withdraw ourselves and quit, like my first reaction was. Or we can challenge ourselves to look beyond our hurt, step into the light and look for new opportunities. It’s like they say, there is always another door that will open when one is closed.

So, instead of quitting and feeling sorry for myself, I took a step towards the light. How? By focussing on the styling projects I have right now: a love photoshoot and a one-year-old birthday party. Doing that, focussing on that what I do have, really helped. I have felt re-energized and excited to create beauty.

Today I want to encourage you to start stepping into the light if you are feeling disappointed or let down. There is always another opportunity or a different road. Don’t let those feelings get the best of you. Try creating beauty, even if it’s in small ways that barely seem to matter.

I wanted to share a picture of the suitcases I had painted for the wedding that I had helped out with while interning. I love how they turned out!

Have a beautiful Monday!

❤ Nan

From one mom to another

I have been a mom for almost two years now. A mom to two children already. And it’s just now that I’ve realized that some things are “okay” as a mom. This may have taken some of you longer, but me, being a perfectionist and all, think two years is already too long. What  I am finally willing to admit (and after two years it is still hard), is that motherhood, at times, is hard. There, I said it.

I always thought it was my duty, as a mother, to embrace motherhood with all I had. To me, this meant to embrace it without complaining about it being hard because that would not be fair to my kids nor to my husband. God had granted my request to be a mom and I had chosen to be a “stay at home mom”, so complaining was off limits. And for me, saying it was hard or tiring to be a mom at times, went right along with complaining.

With one child, it was easy to embrace motherhood with all I had and to adjust to my baby’s schedule. But then number two arrived. And suddenly I realized that, even though the second baby slept a lot, I suddenly didn’t seem to have enough time nor energy to embrace motherhood (and my household duties) with all I had. I felt like there wasn’t enough of me to attend to every single need, let alone the wants. Yet, when people asked me how life was mothering two babies, I bravely answered, “It’s fine. Great actually. I LOVE being a mom to two kids and the adjustment isn’t all that hard. I’m lucky I have two easy kids.” But on the inside I was saying something WAY different. Something more like, you really want to know how it is? It’s hard and it’s tiring. I feel like I don’t give my eldest enough attention, even though the baby sleeps a lot. I feel like there’s not enough of me to fulfill everyone else’s needs, let alone my own! I have a house that hasn’t been cleaned (thoroughly) for weeks, two children to divide my time and attention between and then there’s also this man who helps out. Oh right, my husband, who also needs my attention. I don’t know how to be enough! I am guessing (actually hoping) that some of you moms out there have had similar thoughts. Otherwise, I guess it really does exist: moms who have it all figured out. It has always been hard for me to admit to my shortcomings, but this time it’s harder. I feel like I have to have it all in a perfect balance and when I look around, I feel like other moms do know how to manage it all perfectly! Who am I to admit to being tired and not always knowing if I am doing it all right? My biggest dream was to be a mom so it shouldn’t be hard, right?

Well, last saturday I went out for a couple of hours. I actually had an interview for an internship as a stylist but I’ll save those exciting details for another time. When I came home, I joined my husband for a cup of coffee and suddenly he said, “I have a lot of respect for how you manage and endure  a day with our kids. These three hours were already exhausting and I wasn’t even able to get anything done!”
When my husband, my all-capable and ever-patient husband (my hero!), said that, I finally realized that it is okay to admit that, at times, motherhood can be challenging. When he said it, I wasn’t mad or upset. It didn’t mean that he loves our children less or that he is weak. It just means that some things are challenging. And that is okay.

When things are challenging, we tend to grow. During those moments when I am tired, when I’m not sure if my children feel and know that I love them, when I yell at my eldest or when I don’t really notice my husband, I learn to hold on to Someone Who is stronger than I am. I learn that it is not in my strength, but in His strength, that I can fully embrace motherhood. When I grow weary, He doesn’t. When I want to give up, He helps me move forward. When I feel like a failure, He shows me who I am in Him.

So, I take a deep breath. I count to ten. And I admit, even though I love motherhood and I love that I am priviliged to be a stay at home mom, it can be exhausting and hard at times. But every single moment, every smile, every kiss and every hug is worth it. And then a compliment from my husband is the cherry on top.

I want to encourage all of you moms to be true to yourself and when people ask how you are doing, be honest. Admit what you are feeling because ironically, it actually helps. Just saying it takes the pressure of and helps you move on.

Keep following for more thoughts on motherhood and fun distractions to inspire you along the way!

❤ Nan

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Beautiful Mondays: A Bohemian Adventure

From the moment that new life is born, exploring starts. A baby discovers the world around him. As his vision gradually becomes clearer, he discovers the faces of his parents. He notices his hands and entertains himself for hours (okay, minutes) when he realizes he has fingers he can move around. Little by little, his world starts getting bigger as he examines more and more of his surroundings.

Little children are adventure-seekers. They thrive on discovering new spots and exploring what is in their reach. We can learn a lot from their innocence, patience and curiosity when they take the time to wander, dream and investigate.

This is exactly what Nons photography was able to capture during the styled photoshoot. The curiosity and innocence of children are visible as they are exploring and discovering their surroundings. It really was a bohemian adventure.

Enjoy the results of the photoshoot, photographed by Nons and styled by me, with special thanks to each of our kids for modelling and to my husband for helping us with some of the styling and “heavy lifting”.

We would love to hear your comments on our styled photoshoot, as this was a first for both of us. So please share!

Have a beautiful Monday!

❤ Nan

Beautiful Mondays: Feathers and Arrows

Part of the reason that I started the “Beautiful Mondays” was to find out what things I like, what inspires me and makes me ME. And I found something that I love AND that inspires me at the same time: styling. I have known this for about a year and a half, when I helped style my sister’s wedding, yet I never really pursued it. I kind of waited for it to come to me I guess. But a couple of weeks ago, I heard that a girl nearby had started a styling business. If I am being honest, my first reaction was jealousy. But then I started thinking about it and realized she just pursued what she loves, instead of waiting around for it to happen. I should be doing the same thing! If I am excited about something and want to learn and grow, I need to start pursuing that. So I did.

I have a friend who started her own photography business, Nons. You can see her work if you click here (for my Dutch readers, consider asking her for a photoshoot!). I approached her and asked if she would like to do a styled photoshoot with me. And, lucky for me, she said yes! We will be photographing our own kids (hopefully they will cooperate!) and have a feather/adventure themed photoshoot. Keep following me to see the results!

Prepping for the photoshoot has given me a busy week and a well-needed distraction. Here is a small preview of the props we will be using.

I am really excited! Working on this has given me new energy and has helped me to focus on fun things in life. I have been creating beauty to create even more beauty!

So this Monday I want to inspire you to pursue the things that give you energy, that excite you, the things that make you happy and the things that you are passionate about. Most of the times, it requires us to take a step forward in order to get where we want to.

Here is a little DIY for you: arrows! I came across these on Pinterest and loved them. I will definitely be using these in the photoshoot.

They are very easy to make. All you need is some felt, sticks and a needle and thread. Oh, scissors are also handy to have.

I first cut out little triangles.

I then sewed two together and on the bottom I placed a stick in between the two pieces felt. To make sure the sticks stay inside, I sewed around the stick twice.

Then, just place the arrows in a fun jar. Or create a bow to go with it, like this one (which my hubby made).

I wish you all a beautiful Monday! I am looking forward to sharing the results of the photoshoot with you.

❤️Nan